Sex is far more than just a meeting of bodies for pleasure.
It is a meeting of souls, hearts, emotions, minds, energy fields, and bodies, that has the potential to facilitate healing, transformation, awakening, and truly infinite possibilities of spiritual growth, when approached from a place of love.
Many of the challenges people face in sexuality stem from inherited social judgement,
As we redefine sexuality and rediscover within it the limitless possibilities of love and spiritual connection it helps facilitate, we allow ourselves to heal this fundamental disconnection within ourselves, and truly embrace the fullness of who we are as simultaneously physical and spiritual beings.
More and more people are recognising these days that sexuality is so much more than they learned growing up or what they've seen in porn or in the media, and are exploring what's possible in sexuality in many new ways.
Sometimes this can lead to people looking for more and more 'out there' and 'wild' things, as they search for the freedom and wholeness in sexuality which they know has somewhere been lost.
This can potentially be a lot of fun, yet it can also skirt around the fundamental point and mechanism of sexuality as an expression of our whole being, and can at times create additional complications.
For while physical sexual freedom and expression is great, it's really by truly infusing our heart and spirit into our sexual expression that we find healing and wholeness within our sexuality.
And this is what many people are really looking for in all the wildness.
How can I feel my heart, spirit, and sexuality in wholeness and union within myself, and then create a new experience of wholeness through meeting others in this unified state?
One interpretation of the word Tantra is 'weaving'.
In this way I like to think about it as the practice of weaving the body, heart and spirit together, weaving our threads of sexual, emotional, and spiritual energies into a single golden tapestry of love which is the experience of being a whole person.
The key to successful weaving is being able to feel which of the threads is needed in the moment, and being able weave it in to the appropriate place in the fabric of your being when the time is ripe.
In different moments different people need more connection to their sexual energies, to their heart, or to their spirit, depending on the unique situation and circumstances.
If you try and follow a pre-determined formula, try to weave in a thread that is not actually needed at the time, or simply don't know where to find the thread that you need, you'll likely create a knot or stitch in your tapestry that doesn't really fit with the true pattern of your being, and needs to be unstitched later.
This is what happens when people dive too strongly into a sexual experience when they're not really ready yet or it's not right for them, or are looking for answers in a certain aspect of their being when what they really need is connection to another.
Some people look for more and more sex when really they need to connect to their heart, and some people endlessly suppress their sexuality looking only for spirit outside of their body, and as a result their body and their ability to transmit spirit through it gradually withers away.
So by trying to fit into someone else's pattern, or follow a formula that is not true to the essence of their being, people can simply create more internal mess within themselves, that then creates a need for more healing than if they'd more closely listened to and honoured their true needs.
And thus perhaps the most important skill of Tantra of them all is the art of listening. To truly be in listening to your being, listening to your soul and hearing what you need, for it's then that you can truly weave the thread that most allows your essence to align, vibrate and sing it's colourful song of love that is you.
So when truly understood, Tantra is far more than just 'spiritual sex'. It is the practice of reconnecting to all aspects of who you are as a spirit and a person, and a path of simultaneously healing and rediscovering our capacity to experience immense bliss and pleasure. This is why Tantra includes such a wide range practices including breath, meditation, movement, sound, colour, touch and energy work, because it is an understanding that naturally incapsulates the connection of all things.
In the modern world even Tantra has been many times reduced to something smaller, yet for me it remains the word and understanding that best incapsulates the infinite possibilities of fully experiencing one's self.
Tantra teaches us to weave the magical threads of our being into the most beautiful art of human connection and spiritual connection, towards the eventual realisation the the two are the same thing and cannot be separated.
Sex then truly becomes an expression of divine union within ourselves, and divine union with others, where all aspects of our being meet at a point of infinite power and creation, birthing new forms of love into the world through the act of whole being connection.